


Aren't I Misunderstood?

by Consulted_moriarty



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Into Darkness - Fandom, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Angst, Multi, Other, References to self-harm, SPOILERS FOR INTO DARKNESS, actually a lot of smut, also some smut, broken!Kirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:37:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Consulted_moriarty/pseuds/Consulted_moriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't see past the veil over my eyes."<br/>"You sound like you were referencing the veil of death."<br/>"I was."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a swing at a three-person relationship. More or less, it is just friends fighting to help Kirk get back on track. There will be smut later, keep this in mind!  
> Enjoy!  
> [Oh, and I don't own the characters or the show/movies. Star Trek is its own deal and I'm just a writer.]

There is a specific stress reserved for entering the Medical bay and finding the Captain of the Enterprise there. For one, it wasn’t planned out which told Leonard McCoy that Kirk fucked something up and was here. The issue with that was how they had just gotten Jim back from, well, being dead. And McCoy was just fine not seeing that man again anywhere near Medical for a good long time.

However, with a quick glance over, Jim wasn’t actually _hurt._ Not that Leonard could see anyways. He still approached the Captain from where he stood beside a biobed, giving him a guiding push to sit down on it. Words didn’t need to be shared, Leonard didn’t actually even need to do any scans, he knew what was wrong the moment their eyes met. Both shades of blue locking and holding that until Leonard gave a small nod of his head and turned away to grab his PADD.

No machines would be activated; nothing would be used to scan Jim. This was off the record, for lack of a better term. Because this was a situation that should have passed like a phase.

_Should have._

“Can’t breathe.” Jim finally spoke up, earning a glance from McCoy. The Doctor nodded his head, setting aside his PADD and stepping forward while crossing his arms.

“You’re having an anxiety attack.”

As if those words were only triggers, his condition continued to sink from there. Jim slumped down at bit, hand coming up over his throat. “Can’t breathe.”

“Come on, lie back. It’ll pass.” It had to, anyways. Leonard’s hands were at Jim’s shoulders, gently pushing him back onto the bed in encouragement to lie him down. The Captain’s hands moved to his chest, fingernails digging in as if trying to claw through invisible restraints holding him together.

He was triggered, Leonard assumed. Maybe someone brought up his death, that was likely to trigger any poor bastard. Jim always bounced back, though. Well, almost always. There were a few nights when he was contacted by the Captain, having nightmares. McCoy would offer some creative drug, but it would be turned down in favour of him going to Jim’s room instead. Not doing anything (well, he’d poke around through Jim’s stuff for entertainment) just being there was enough to put Jim back to sleep. Loneliness desperate to be avoided, especially after that being all he felt when dead.

Near two days later, Jim was back. For a phase, it was having a Hell of a time trying to pass. They spoke more that time, Leonard’s patience wearing thin at Jim’s rebellion on some use of medication.

It was worse, enough so to actually inspire a brief touch of panic in Leonard. Visible shaking, feelings of nausea, he was near gasping for air.

“Jim? Jim, tell me what’s triggering this.” Leonard pressed for the near fifth time in the past two minutes, continuing to urge Jim to speak. He was trying, his lips moving to frame words together. Leonard only shook his head, looking down with a soft exhale. “Alright, it’ll pass.” There was a brief pause before he was adding more. “Does Spock know about this? I figure he must if you keep ditching the Bridge.” That earned a nod from Jim, showing that Spock was aware. Well, that’d make some sense. For the Gamma shifts McCoy had, Spock was probably being called to the room instead.

“I’ll be okay.” Jim spoke up after a moment, catching Leonard’s attention from a few feet away. He looked over and nodded his head in agreement, not speaking up since it looked like Jim was only speaking to himself. He would, too. Nothing, not even death, stopped this guy for that long. Trying to get his bearings back couldn’t be that hard.

_Right?_

“McCoy to the Bridge.” Spock’s voice pulled him from his daze, his attention turning to his comm.

“What is it, Spock?” And he hoped on every last aspect of his soul that Spock wasn’t about to reply on Kirk’s deteriorating condition.

“The Captain is unconscious.”

Dammit. Leonard was moving, albeit far too fast considering it wasn’t like Jim was going anywhere anytime soon. There was still the panic that he wouldn’t get there in time. That _something_ would get the Captain before he could. Upon stepping onto the Bridge, Jim was indeed on the ground, but awake. Leonard approached and crouched down, this event now going public and permitting the use of devices to take in vitals. Racing heart, spike in blood pressure, as well as a rise in respiration rate. Anxiety attack, again. Leonard put away what he had brought, looking to meet Jim’s glazed over eyes. That was…new. It seemed he was catching Kirk after the attacks, and that he never thought to consider that Jim was having episodes.

_So then, what was his trigger?_

Leonard was looking around, avoiding most gazes as he did so. Nothing appeared different, maybe a few less members on the Bridge than usual, Spock might have sent them off. Leonard ended with looking up at the Vulcan towering over them, his own breathing sped up. “Did you see anything that caused this? Or heard anything?”

“Nothing, Doctor McCoy. I was just about to step off the Bridge when he collapsed.” Spock offered what felt like useless information. McCoy huffed out a breath, looking down.

“Alright, help get me to his room. We’re going to have to find something to change this.” On cue, Spock knelt down, his strength far exceeding Leonard’s. In fact, the CMO didn’t have to do anything but watch as Spock took Jim’s arm around his neck, standing up and keeping the Captain close. Leonard stood up as well, following behind on their way down to Jim’s quarters.

Upon lying the Captain down, Kirk appeared hardly coherent, and certainly not enough so for them to stick around. Both Spock and McCoy had turned to leave when a soft noise caught the Doctor’s attention. He stopped, grabbing Spock’s arm to stop him as well as he looked back to the bed. Jim was turned on his side, looking down at them with a steady expression. One hand raised, fingers extending out towards them as if to keep the Officer’s there. McCoy’s gaze turned to Spock, both realizing it at about the same time.

Jim was abandoned.

That had to be the trigger. Considering Spock leaving the Bridge being what collapsed the Captain. So he just…couldn’t be alone? Strange, it was near impossible to get alone on this ship. Aside from sleeping alone (it made more sense now because Jim would contact McCoy or Spock to stay in his room at night) he would always be around the crew anywhere else. Was it just…that horrible? Leonard didn’t think on it, instead turning back towards the bed.

“My shift ended awhile ago, I’ll stay here for now.” He announced softly, but Jim heard it anyways. His hand moved a bit, shakily turning to point at Spock.

“I should be on the Bridge now that Jim is not.” Spock offered, appearing to take a step towards the door. Leonard looked over, frowning a bit.

“He wants you here, can’t you find someone else to take the helm for now?” It was a long shot, and Spock would probably pick work over sitting around to comfort Jim.

So it was surprising when the Vulcan again looked at Jim before giving a small nod of his head. “I’ll make the call.” He stepped out of the room, which wasn’t necessary but it bought McCoy a moment to talk to Jim as well as see his reaction to Spock disappearing from view.

“Bones.”

“I’m here.” Leonard stated flatly, approaching the bed and crossing his arms. “Is that it, Jim? Do you need one of us to stick around at all times?” It sounded like he was prompting for an order to be given, but he was purely curious.

And Jim nodded his head, looking up at the Doctor.

Leonard inhaled through his nose, looking away after making eye contact. It wasn’t natural to see Jim like this, so broken. And all it could really remind him of was seeing Jim. That’s all. A dead friend again. And he would be damned to ever let that be the case again. He looked over at the door opening, Spock entering the room and approaching the bed while clasping his hands together behind his back. He stood beside Leonard, both of them looking down at the Captain looking back up.

They could have all stood there for near an hour if Leonard hadn’t spoken up. It was just…awkward. He didn’t like standing over someone’s bed. “What do you need us to do, Jim?” Might as well raise the offer.

“Just…stay.” It was stated with him sounding almost ashamed. Well, in fair justice, he was being selfish.

But didn’t he get that chance for once? Leonard animated then, turning to grab his chair and pull it closer to the bed. He lowered down to it with a breath, looking up to Spock in waiting for his action.

The Vulcan appeared unmoved until Jim scooted away from the edge and patted it. And that was the moment Spock nodded his head slightly and sat down, facing towards Leonard but looking straight at Jim.

“Thanks.” Jim smirked slightly, looking entirely at ease and much more steady than before. That was a comforting sight, one Leonard enjoyed seeing more than anything at that moment.

“Selfish bastard.” He remarked, reaching a hand out to smooth Jim’s hair down a bit-something that always annoyed Leonard to the point of wanting to fix it.

Also something he did when this happened before.

“Doctor McCoy, I think that statement is-“

“Spock, I was kidding around.” Leonard cut in, looking over at Spock and meeting eyes. “I know he deserves to be selfish for once.”

There was another period of silence, in which Spock now appeared the uncomfortable one. And he was first to speak up on it. “What can I do?”

Perhaps he just felt useless, watching McCoy’s gentle movements making Jim’s eyelids heavy. Jim held a hand up, holding it towards Spock and causing McCoy to freeze with eyes on the hand. He then looked up at Spock, the Vulcan appearing entirely transfixed on the hand.

“Captain, me taking your hand would be considered-“

“Take his hand, Spock. Whiny bastard.”

Leonard knew _exactly_ what it meant. And he was shocked to see Spock’s hand move forward, his fingertips brushing to Jim’s before an intertwining of fingers. There, wasn’t so hard, was that? The room was again quiet, Leonard’s last words still feeling like they were echoing around from the abrupt stop in conversation. He was watching closely, watching Jim’s eyelids fall heavy.

When he appeared asleep, Leonard withdrew his hand and slowly stood up, looking at Spock. “You have things under control; I’ll be back in a bit. This is my chance to sleep.” And he wasn’t about to fall asleep beside Jim with Spock there. “Call me when you need to head up to the Bridge, I’ll come back in.” Because he figured it would be a long night.

Spock nodded his head to Leonard, and the Doctor moved to the doorway, giving one glance back in before stepping out. 


	2. Playing the Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unable to sleep, the Doctor takes a trip to Medical bay in finding some helpful medication for Jim. The good and bad news is that Jim doesn't need it. He found another cure.

Despite heavy intentions to sleep, there was actually some issue to doing so. For one, his mind was working overtime on thinking about Jim. What were they going to do? Would Jim snap out of it or seriously need someone at his side for the rest of his life? It was something Leonard didn’t actually want to think on. He didn’t want to consider the possibility that Jim, for once, wouldn’t actually bounce back. At it being near two hours that he had been lying down, he found he couldn’t toss and turn a moment more. He wanted answers and the best of them would come from Jim, if only they could get him to open up without any…side effects of the sort. Like another anxiety attack, that would be…well. It wasn’t something he wanted happening again and he’d see to it that Jim was fixed. Somehow.

Maybe all he needed was some company to get back on his feet. That seemed reasonable, Leonard would work on the theory that this was just temporary. With grabbing his PADD, he decided to take this time to head to the Medical bay, checking in even though it was unnecessary and he had no shift or reason to be down there. It was simply to visit somewhere to take the extra time off his hands before he popped in and took over the shift of keeping Jim company while Spock could get out and do something.

Looking over some medications, he found what could have been ideal to help Jim get over this, a stabilizer of sorts. Best part was that it was more like a vitamin rather than drug.

But Jim refused drugs, strange enough. He wouldn’t take anything to help him sleep anymore and now was refusing what could very well save his life. Leonard grabbed the medication regardless, thinking there was hope yet in convincing Jim. He headed to the Captain’s quarters, taking his time and even investing in a small conversation with Nurse Chapel. It was more of buying time before he was back worrying on Jim’s life.

Though, these days, felt like he was worrying more often than not.

Upon entering the room, he froze at the doorway upon what he saw. It pulled a smile to his lips and he stepped in further to have the door close and keep anyone from seeing what he was seeing. Most likely, Jim had convinced Spock to do this. He looked over the two figures on the bed, both looking almost soundlessly asleep and pulled rather close together. Leonard’s smile turned to a smirk, and he moved to set the medication down on a table before turning to leave.

“Wait.” A small whisper caught up to him and he turned to see Jim’s eyes on him. Leonard was set on edge at that, feeling like he was…intruding. After all, it really wasn’t his place to sit down and watching a Captain and First Officer cuddle like a newlywed couple. God, no. He wanted to get out of there.

“Come here.”

Well, so much for trying to leave. Leonard cleared his throat softly, approaching the bed and watching both the man and Vulcan stir to look at him. Leonard sat down in his original seat, Jim being the closest with Spock behind him. Leonard offered a small smile, taking the hand that was offered to him. It felt nice, it was a gentle reminder that Jim was actually alive and doing, more or less, okay. Leonard looked down, intertwining their fingers slowly and moving his thumb to brush over the palm of Jim’s hand.

“Now that Doctor McCoy is here,” Spock pulled himself into the conversation, propping up on an elbow to look at Leonard, “I will head out.”

“No,” Jim spoke up, eyes widening a bit at that. He looked over his shoulder, looking up at Spock. “I mean…just a few more minutes?”

Spock gave a small nod of his head, and he was moving to return it to the pillow when Jim’s free hand cupped his cheek. Leonard about left right there, first instincts telling him he was way intruding and second instincts having him wanting to pound in Spock’s face.

Nothing was wrong with Spock.

He just didn’t like Jim giving all those touches to Spock that he’d give to Leonard on these nights. It was hard to witness and he wasn’t typically a jealous man.

His cue to leave was when Jim was pulling Spock down to press their lips together. Leonard blinked once before looking away and moving to stand up. He would have done so had Jim’s hand not tightened around his own. What the Hell was he playing at? Leonard continued to avert his gaze despite the fact that he was sure the kiss had ended awhile ago.

“Bones?”

That pulled his attention back, he looked forward to see them both looking at him. What? Why? He gave a raised eyebrow, appearing anything but amused. “What?” Mm, replied a bit too harsh, he tried pulling his hand away then. This was completely not a situation he wanted to be in. Just because he was entirely manners and, well, this wasn’t his business. Great, fantastic that they finally got their shit together. Why wouldn’t Jim let go of his hand?

_Or was he having trouble deciding who he wanted to stick around?_

Dammit, he was just the ship doctor, not a damn drama queen. He wasn’t going to get in the middle of this. Leonard McCoy, a simple man. That’s all.

“You feelin’ okay?” Jim asked, his hand leaving Spock’s cheek as he turned back to facing just Leonard.

“I was just checking in on you. If Spock’s staying, I have some things I can go do.” Oh, no. Now he was sounding selfish. “Unless you want me to stay, of course.” It was offered anyways, McCoy turned his attention to Spock. The Vulcan looked like he was having a mess of contemplation of if he wanted to stay or go himself.

Great, so Leonard wasn’t the only one.

“No, I need Spock on the Bridge.” Jim replied, finally getting the two others to get put at ease. Something to do. Spock was moving, looking to get out of bed but not before Jim caught him by his shirt and yanked him back down for another brief kiss. Leonard rolled his eyes at that, throwing in the towel and assuming that Jim had already decided. Good, got that mess out of the way. Spock stood up, straightening out his shirt and moving to the door.

“I hope to see you on the Bridge soon, Captain. Feel better.” He threw in before stepping out from the room. Leonard made a face, but silently agreed. Looking back at Jim, he actually smiled. The Captain did look much better, more…relaxed and breathing easier.

“Are you mad?” Jim asked, giving a look of confusion. Leonard matched the look, leaning forward into the conversation.

“No? Why would I be mad?” Plenty of reasons to be mad, but not while they were trying to get Jim feeling better.

“You watched me kiss Spock.”

“No, you made me sit here while you kissed Spock and I looked away.” He replied simply and quickly. Though it did raise the question, “why did you make me stay? It wasn’t my business. I don’t care who you’re doing whatever with, just don’t make me an audience.” It was a reasonable request wasn’t it?

“Are you mad?”

Dammit. That question again. Leonard didn’t answer aloud, he only gave Jim a look like he had given up on the entire conversation. He didn’t care. _He didn’t care._

Well, he kind of did. But that wasn’t the point.

“I’m sorry. I just…needed you here.” Jim added, and earned a nod from Leonard.

“It’s alright, Jim. Calm down, God knows I’m not dealing with you having a panic attack over this drama.” If it could be classified that.

Jim nodded his head, gesturing for Leonard to come closer with his free hand. The Doctor hesitated before shifting his chair closer, his other hand moving back to Jim’s hair like always. “Just relax.” He repeated, watching the Captain do so below his hand.

This…this was what Leonard wanted. Not Jim hurt, of course. But Jim relying on his touch. It just felt…natural.

He wasn’t mad at Jim kissing Spock.

He wasn’t allowed to be mad over that.

He wasn’t keeping time, but figured it had been a near hour as he was starting to nod off just a bit. It was, after all, much easier to sleep knowing Jim was right there and okay. But the chair was uncomfortable and he kept jerking himself awake with the worry that Jim would be silently suffering an attack and Leonard would be asleep and missing his chance to help.

“I brought you some medication, Jim. If this doesn’t get better with you hanging around Spock and me, I’m putting you on it. No more avoiding, I need you okay. I need you running this ship.” Leonard spoke up, knowing that Jim was awake, just…out of it. The Captain’s eyes opened, looking back over at Leonard with a small smile.

“You’re so worried about me.”

That put a growing frown on his features. “Of course I am. People blame me when you’re not healthy and kicking.” Which, yes, they did. But that wasn’t really why Leonard was panicking. He could care less about anyone’s opinion, he personally needed Jim alive and well.

Jim slowly sat up, which caused Leonard’s instant reaction to push him back down onto the bed. He held still, though, waiting to see what Jim was doing. “I’m alright.” Jim spoke up, moving to put his feet flat on the ground, facing Leonard and looking square at him. “Are _you_ alright?”

“You keep asking about me and, no, I won’t be alright.” He finished bluntly, it being in his nature to not sit there and spill out his issues.

Besides, Jim’s issues were far more important.

Jim laughed, a free hand coming to rest fingers under Leonard’s chin, lifting his head to make their eyes meet. Leonard had frozen up at that point, thoroughly uncomfortable that Jim was touching him after being covered in Spock.

“Jim.” Leonard’s hand came up, catching the one on its way to his cheek. “You already picked. Stop.” It was cold, had to be. Leonard was good at that. He offered a small smile, lowering Jim’s hand away. But that appeared to only hurt the Captain and it caused a rise in his own heart-rate at seeing what he had done. “Hey,” his own free hand moved to Jim’s cheek that time. “I’m not looking to have a Vulcan put a hole in this ship by kicking me through it.”

“I wasn’t trying anything, Bones. You’re freaking out because I touched you. Something’s wrong.” Jim continued to press. Leonard laughed, looking down while shaking his head.

“You persistent shit.”

“You’re mad because it should have been you that I kissed.”

No. No. He had to stop it right there. Leonard looked up, raising an eyebrow as if that could be a reasonable bluff. He wouldn’t lie. He would be straight up if he had to. He just didn’t want to.

“Yeah. A bit.” There, it was out there.

So to have Jim leaning in and closing that distance and filling Leonard’s mind with a million thoughts while clearing it of each thought at the same time, the Doctor found his own lips pressed where they should have been awhile ago. Not Spock, dammit. And yet, the entire thing felt almost awkward. As if he was kissing the Vulcan over the Captain. Leonard reluctantly pulled back, touching their foreheads together and opening his eyes to meet Jim’s.

“You’re making this complicated.” Leonard all but choked out.

“I make everything complicated.” Jim replied smoothly, smiling as if, for once, he was feeling human again. 


	3. First Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard gets a bit too close to the situation at hand, and Spock steps up.   
> Only no one wanted that.  
> [Hello! Small warning. Sex scene and this would be the chapter referencing Self-harm. Otherwise, enjoy!]

Leonard McCoy knew the line between an accident and something self-induced. He knew the look of sanity, of loss of control.

What he didn’t know was how Jim had gone from being just fine to _this._

_Rewind._

Three days ago. Leonard was moving back in for another kiss, being met halfway with a far more pleased Jim Kirk. He felt right, despite the severity of the situation, he felt okay and rather pleased with the situation. For one, it was he who was kissing Jim over Spock. And Leonard wasn’t being competitive, nor would he agree to saying he was possessive.

He felt he could do better for Jim.

That being said, so could Spock.

And worse yet, Jim was the one initiating this crisis with kissing both beings. Around the same time frame, too. And that thought was enough to finally pull Leonard from his trance, pulling back to look and meet Jim’s eyes.

Captain Kirk was strong, he could take a rejection. But could he take it right now? Could he take it when he was practically dying at the thought of being alone? Leonard wouldn’t play that risk, he’d stick in this for as long as he could. “Tired?” An offer for sleep despite Jim looking more or less wide away. Either way, it was suggested. Leonard didn’t want to leave. He _wanted_ to be closer. Not even in a sexual sense (although he wouldn’t deny that the idea was rather…charming) but just to touch the living man.

It sounded pathetic.

So he let the thought go.

“Not tired.” He replied simply, looking at Leonard with a slowly changing expression. Bliss to regret, feeling like he was about to lose the Doctor, probably.

“I should get back to Medical. Shift starts soon.” Didn’t start for a few hours yet, he was trying to leave the situation. Which was horrible considering he was here to be _there_ for Jim and because Spock wasn’t there. “You look well enough to head up to the Bridge; I can go up there with you if you want.” And Spock would be there to stick close.

Even though Leonard didn’t quite want that, he had to work with the Vulcan for this.

Jim inhaled slowly, looking over at his PADD and pulling his hands from Leonard’s. “I don’t have to report up there for another two hours, Leonard.”

No, that was wrong. No nickname? He caught the Doctor’s attention, Leonard looking at him with rather large eyes. Jim looked back forward, appearing to have swallowed hard before both his hands came out in grabbing fistfuls of the Doctor’s shirt, yanking him from his chair to come atop Jim on the bed.

It was messy, for one. Their kissing, of course. Needy, hungry. Shirts and black undershirts were being yanked off and tossed aside before a struggle for the dominant man took place. And, for just that one damn time, Leonard believed Jim was doing just fine. He gave in for the fight, liking the idea of Kirk straddling him and picking the pace anyways.

And he did, too. Hips sinking down in a drawn roll over Leonard’s, the repeated action drawing gasps and moans from the Doctor before he was sitting up and bringing their lips back together. That was brief, but enjoyed before Jim pushed him back down on the bed. He didn’t think on anyone other than them for once, didn’t worry about Medical bay or anyone walking in (was the door even locked?). Leonard was consumed with the touches of the other running his hands down his chest, leaning down to bring his hands back up in favour of pulling at his short hair.

Without much say in the matter, Leonard looked down when Jim was reaching into his pants, pulling out and stroking a rising erection. He mimicked the action, his own hand going into Jim’s pants to close a hand over throbbing warmth. That was…different. Not entirely unpleasant. In fact, enjoyable with the distraction of the other stroking his own length. Both were enveloped in low moans, those which continued on unless they paused to kiss- which happened more often than not. Even brief, almost curious, moments passed with touching their erections together, pre smearing between them.

One climax encouraged the other’s. Watching Jim sit up and arch his back, hips rolling forward into Leonard’s hand with a moan tearing from his lips, warmth coming across the Doctor’s chest, he followed suit afterwards with Jim’s fast stroking hand.

And through that moment, though the room was near silent besides the pounding of his heart and noises between them, there was one more noise he didn’t quite place until then.

The door had opened. And it seemed Leonard was the only one how had heard it. Jim moved off the Doctor, lying down beside in gasping breaths while Leonard looked down, tucking himself away at the same time. Door closed, no one was there.

Christ. What if it had been Spock?

No, he didn’t want to think of that possibility. There was still a moment with Jim here; he’d make the best of it. Rolling to his side, he was met with eager lips and a soft hum, Jim’s behaviour turning clingy as he pulled closer to the Doctor. Leonard didn’t mind it; he welcomed it with pulling Jim into his chest. But his gaze kept trailing back to the door. Jim must have not heard it, which was looking to be a good thing at the moment. And with how fast everything had happened, some time had finally been spared for Leonard to consider the magnitude of what had happened.

“We should clean up, you need to get up to the Bridge and I need to get to Sick bay.” Leonard spoke up again, finally breaking a post-orgasmic silence. Jim let out a breath, sitting up and looking back at Leonard.

“Okay, yeah. Come on.”

That should have been the exact moment he considered this too much. The moment Jim wanted to shower with him. Yes, it would have been ideal considering they were both a mess.

But that wasn’t what it was.

Jim needed someone with him at all times. And would Leonard even be able to uphold that position? More importantly, would Jim even be in a position to have what he needed? Most likely, no. And he wasn’t about to forfeit his job for a lover-dare that be a term Leonard was using.

Slipping into the warm shower put rushing thoughts to rest. He took control at that point, being the one to lather Jim (exploring far more than necessary and, well, taking his time in exploring the Captain’s body).

“You don’t have to give me a massage while you’re at it.” Jim finally spoke up, smirking and looking over his shoulder at the man behind him.

“I’ll do what I want, I’m your Doctor.”

That was all to be said, a shower finished quickly at that point. Leonard had been lucky that his clothing was cast aside, showing no evidence of what had happened. He got dressed with Jim not far behind. And then both were heading to the door.

“Hold on.” Leonard stopped them by catching Jim’s hand, stopping the Captain to look back at him.

“What?”

Leonard smirked, reaching a hand up and petting down Jim’s still moist hair. “It bothers me.” He remarked, letting go of Jim’s hand so they could step from the room.

“I don’t see why.” Jim replied, his hand coming up to fix his hair how it originally was before Leonard got a hold of it. “The way I see it, you’ll have to get used to my sex hair if we’re ever doing that again.” He looked over at Leonard, watching the Doctor laugh and fight (fail) to avoid blushing at the comment.

Conversation died there with people passing back and the reality of their jobs and lives coming back. And just like that, it was as if a switch had been flipped. Jim was moving closer, shoulder brushing to Leonard’s as if needing reassurance that he was there. The Doctor’s hand moved to Jim’s back, guiding him into the lift for a moment of privacy on heading up to the Bridge.

“Are you going to be okay?”

It shouldn’t have been answered, Leonard didn’t want the answer. He didn’t want to get back to the reality of Jim being…broken.

“I don’t know.” He replied honestly, looking over to meet Leonard’s fading expression.

Hands clasping behind his back, the doors opened and he remained in the lift as Jim stepped out and headed towards the Captain’s chair. Captain on Bridge.

First Officer stepping off the Bridge.

How fast the energy had changed between Spock and Leonard was shocking, and downright unsettling. Over and over, the question remained. _Was Spock the one who walked in?_ How long did he stay, if so? What was his reaction?

Vulcan’s were far more possessive than that of humans, with good reason. Or, as they would put it, with logical reasoning. It was a bond, much beyond that of a physical and emotional bond. Mental.

Something Leonard would have to compete with if Spock had made up his mind.

The Vulcan did not get off on any other floor; he was coming to Medical along with Leonard. The Doctor looked over, lips parting (with a slight tingle still there) to ask a question, but he thought better of it. Spock was probably just…stopping by for something. With the lift stopping, Leonard was moving out and ahead of the other, moving into the bay and straight to his office.

Spock was following.

Upon entering the room, Leonard spun around to face the other.

“What do you need, Spock?” May as well get to the point, to bring up the unresolved tension between them.

Spock stepped closer, gaze piercing into Leonard and having the CMO considering on taking a step back. But he remained where he was, keeping in mind that Spock would know better than to attack- God forbid that ever even was considered by the Vulcan.

“With all due respect, Doctor McCoy, take this opportunity to detach yourself from Jim. This is not a selfish maneuver on my part; the human is bonded with me.”

There was a moment of hesitation before Leonard replied.

“So?”

“So what he is feeling, I am feeling as well.”

That was…horribly awkward. Worse yet, Leonard knew what that meant.

“You preformed a mind meld with him? A _telepathic mating bond?_ Does he know?” Leonard accused, taking little facts and throwing them forward at the Vulcan.

That caught Spock off guard, he stood a bit taller.

“Jim does not know yet. It was initiated specifically so that I could keep him company if he was feeling alone, could hopefully prevent such issues from arising again.”

“It makes him yours.”

Defeated, but not going down without a few swinging punches.

“It is true that during a Pon Farr cycle, I would be required to-“

“You didn’t tell him.” Leonard cut in, giving a small shake of his head. “Jim doesn’t know what happens with that. With _you._ ”

“I assure you-“

“What, Spock? What could you possibly tell me?”

“I am the ideal choice for him.”

And now Leonard was caught off guard. He looked away, swallowing the thought.

“And you know this to be true,” Spock continued as if ignoring Leonard’s reaction, “I can provide more for him mentally, create a bond to make him feel a sense of security.”

“Stop.” Leonard looked back forward, meeting Spock’s gaze. “Just because you’ve got a few advantages doesn’t mean you rub them in my face. It’s Jim’s choice in the end.”

“He already made his decision, Doctor. We just wait for him to voice it.” Spock was backing away at that, turning to leave without further word.

“You’re wrong.”

Well, that’d catch any Vulcan’s attention like nothing else.

“Excuse me?” He turned back to Leonard, appearing _almost_ confused at the claim. “I am entirely correct, Doctor. I am the logical choice.”

“Yeah, and since when did Jim run on _logic?_ ” Leonard wasn’t going for a fight here; he was going for some sort of grounding. He stepped towards the Vulcan, inclining his head. “As far as I see it, there is a fair fight right here. So step down from your pedestal and behave like the rest of us. Jim will choose who is fitting for _him._ ”

Neither spoke at that point, standing close enough that Leonard could have pulled out a scalpel and cut through the tension.

And finally the Vulcan inhaled shortly and spoke out a low reply, “we shall see.”

And left.

_Present time, two days ahead._

Jim was back in Medical, lying in a Biobed and choking on his need for air. Leonard hadn’t seen or spoken to Spock, carefully avoiding the Vulcan until this moment. He was there beside Jim, and both he and Leonard were entirely transfixed on helping the Captain.

Drugs were used this time, only a simple sedation. But it got rid of the gasping and choking, bringing Jim’s heart-rate down to a reasonable beat for his situation.

“Did you leave the room?” Leonard finally spoke up, looking from Jim’s face to Spock.

“No, Doctor McCoy. I was there the entire time.”

Leonard sighed, making a move to turn away when something caught his attention. Blood on the sleeve of Kirk’s shirt, over his forearm. And how the blood was angled…

“Please step out of here, Spock. I need a moment.” Leonard held up a device as if that was all. Spock inhaled for protest, but was greeted with a cocked eyebrow and ready to explode expression from Leonard. It was unnecessary, but got Spock from there rather quickly.

Rolling up one sleeve, he was greeted with a similar image on the other forearm.

“Jim? What the Hell is this?” Leonard asked lowly, leaning over to meet eyes with the sedated man.

“I…don’t…” he trailed off, lifting an arm to look at them with eyebrows pulled together. “Remember.”

Christ.

“Okay, it’s alright. I’ll fix you.” He assured, rolling Jim’s sleeves back down before giving the man a hypo and knocking him out rather instantly. Taking a trip to his desk, he collapsed in his chair with a single glance cast around the room.

Great. The Captain of a ship he was stuck on was having episodes far beyond any safe measures and the First Officer was all but ripping his throat out.

And all Leonard could think on was why didn’t Jim just take the drugs in the first place?

Could have saved a mess of trouble.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been like Jim then. Taking pills and obeying orders.

No, he was always the rebel.


	4. Unwanted Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing that there was no way Jim had a moment alone to actually hurt himself, Leonard comes to believe Spock sat back and let it happened. That was what happened anyways...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually get a chance to tag the ship of Spock and McCoy until now, so this would be my fair warning that there is a literal triangle going on here!  
> Have fun reading!

The real question that should have been asked was, if Spock had been with Jim the entire time, how did the Captain get the chance to do what he did?

Or did Spock sit by and watch it happen?

Now, Leonard had two kinds of furious. The first was vaguely annoyed and usually reserved for Jim’s actions. And then there was _ripping the ship apart looking for Spock._ Jim would be out for a bit, he could afford to step from Medical bay (of course, he informed a nurse to stay at Jim’s bedside and inform him when he awoke). It would have been ideal to just have called Spock’s comm, but part of Leonard was reserving that to give Spock a head start.

Because he wasn’t going to be kind over this.

Ending at the First Officer’s quarters, he let himself in to find that Spock wasn’t there either. Which meant that he was likely on the Bridge. Leonard didn’t waste time poking around the room, it wasn’t his business. He moved to the lift, stepping in and stating a command for it to go up to the Bridge. Maybe…this was a rash reaction. He gave a moment to actually think over his actions on considering assaulting the First Officer. Well, Leonard knew he wouldn’t stand a chance if Spock tried hard enough. But he was nearly as stubborn as Jim, he’d take the chance.

With the doors opening, he smoothly stepped into the Bridge, crossing his arms and looking over to see Spock at his station. He, along with other members on the Bridge, were all looking at the CMO standing there. That put Leonard in action, moving forward and heading to Spock’s station.

“I need to speak to you.” He announced lowly, not quite meeting Spock’s eyes and looking around at lingering glances towards them.

“I believe you are already speaking to me, Doctor M-“

“No. Not here. Come on.” Leonard gestured with a hand, finally looking at Spock and watching the Vulcan rise from his seat. Good. Leonard turned around, walking back to the lift and stepping in with Spock close behind. He waited until the doors had closed and the lift was starting to move, and then he hit a button and stopped the movements of the lift.

Shit. He didn’t quite think through what he was going to tell Spock. Well, best to be straight forward.

“Jim has cuts on his forearms.” Leonard turned towards Spock, standing a bit taller and glaring that the Vulcan. “Cuts that wouldn’t be there if you had been in the room.” He watched Spock give a near shocked look, before shaking his head slightly.

“I was with the Captain every time that you were not.  Have you considered that perhaps it was _you_ who wasn’t there when he was harmed?”

“The marks were done by him, Spock.” Leonard paused, blinking once. There was no way Jim did that on his watch. Leonard hadn’t fallen asleep anytime that Jim was awake. And he was always there when Spock wasn’t.

Right?

“You’re accusing me with little facts and a raging hate. I would highly suggest you rethink through this-“ He was cut off by a shove from Leonard. Being startled and caught off guard, Spock backed up to the wall of the lift. “Doctor McCoy, I suggest you get your emotions in check before-“

“No, Spock. Stop telling everyone to be cold. You know what? I’m going to blow up on this. I’m going to get angry that my _friend is hurt._ I’m going to get angry that you are determined to tear him from me and you can’t even give a moment to _feel_ panicked that Jim could very well kill himself.” Leonard snapped out quickly, approaching the Vulcan and holding a steady gaze.

“If Jim had been in any reasonable danger, I assure you-“

“You would have known. Right. Have you considered that what _he_ sees as danger is not what _you_ see as danger?” That seemed to stop Spock for a moment, looking as if he was finally considering Leonard’s words. So the Doctor continued. “Dammit, Spock. He ran into the most radiated part of this ship to fix the engine. He _died_ and that was the moment he probably felt danger. He’s stubborn and out of control.” Leonard took a step back, speaking more about himself than Jim on that last line. “I’m sorry, Spock. But I think you let your guard down and you messed up. Because I’ve invested every last second of my time in making sure Jim was alright.” He backed up to hit a similar button on the opposite wall, the lift resuming in its movements down to Medical. “I think you messed up and you don’t want to admit it.”

That was a harsh accusation to make. And the only thing that kept Leonard from making a mess of apologies to the First Officer was the lift halting on the floor he needed to get off on. Leonard was actually going to step off when Spock stepped forward and grabbed his arm, ceasing his movements away. Leonard looked back, pulling his arm from Spock’s grasp.

“Doctor McCoy-“

“I have a first name, you know.” Long shot. They would always be professional.

“Doctor McCoy, I wish to apologize. I…was late to showing up to Jim’s quarters. It would have been logical to call you to come keep him company-“

“Yeah, that would have been logical.”

“-But I am trying. And I think you owe me the respect of forgiving this incident as I will make sure it never happens again.”

…damn that Vulcan bastard. Leonard sighed, turning to face him. He could hate Spock, but he wouldn’t leave that apology hanging.

“We all make mistakes, even perfect shitheads like you.” Leonard remarked, looking over Spock’s shirt before meeting his eyes. “Piss me off again and I’ll have your head.”

There. That was suitable, got them right back where they were before. Hating each other but not because mistakes were made. And Spock didn’t make Leonard stop that time, so the CMO got off the lift and returned to Medical just in time to see Jim beginning to stir alive. The nurse, now being the only other who knew about the cuts, bandaged up his arms before Leonard had a chance. Regardless, he spent near eight minutes in rewrapping the bandages snugly before moving to bring his hand into Jim’s hair, gently ruffling it up to its usual chaotic state.

“I thought you didn’t…like it that way.” Jim mumbled, eyes slowly opening to look at Leonard. The Doctor smirked, moving his hand to Jim’s cheek.

“I don’t, I’m putting up with it because you like it.”

Ironically covering two topics with that reply.

Jim, after receiving another thorough check over by Leonard, was finally let out of Medical. Spock, of course, had been there to retrieve him and take him back to his quarters. And though Leonard wanted to be the one doing so, he had a shift to finish. Work before play, right? So he instead focused on each task at hand, taking it on faith that Spock was doing good and helping Jim. Because something had to be done, Leonard was tired of saying he would put Jim on drugs but never doing it. There was just some part of him that knew that when Jim started on the medication, he’d be on it for life.

There had to be another way. Another _actual_ cure.

When his shift ended, Leonard wasted no time in getting to Jim’s quarters. He had stopped by his own, though, grabbing a book. Be it entertainment for himself while Jim slept (God, he better get some sleep) or if he would read it to Jim.

That happened twice.

And Leonard would die before he ever confessed how much he enjoyed reading to Jim. Just how the Captain would…bring all his attention to Leonard’s words for once, watching his expressions change as the book progressed. Seeing him smile.

Leonard was consumed in that thought, a smile touching his lips as the doors pulled open and he stepped into the room.

Oh.

Well.

So this is what Spock must have felt like, walking in to the sight. Only Leonard didn’t get to slip out before being seen. Jim was lying back on the bed, his feet on the pillows near the head of the bed and Spock straddling his knees. Leaning forward.

Lips around what Leonard was touching not that long ago.

The CMO was almost completely sure he was about to be sick to his stomach in rage. Not _all_ because of what he was seeing, but because-due to Jim deciding to lie that way-Spock need only glance up and his lust-stricken eyes were on Leonard. He could have stepped up, could have told Spock to get off. But, with a shifting gaze going to Jim, the Captain was enjoying himself.

Dammit.

In fact, the room was flooding with what Leonard was considering a lot more moaning than what he had elicited from the Captain. And, with that, he turned and stepped from the room, not looking back with his straight path being that to his own room. He shouldn’t have been mad at Spock. _Jim_ was the one pulling the two others into this game. Still, Leonard was content being the only one who was playing around with Jim.

_I asked you to watch over him, halfblood, not suck him off for the next four hours._

Leonard cast his book aside, taking a seat at his desk and pulling up his PADD. Distracting himself in reports that were already done, he went over them until his eyelids were falling heavy. Distractions were nice. And when Leonard finally settled on getting some sleep, he stood up and turned around just as the door to his room opened.

_You’re kidding me._

“Spock. Now _really_ is not the time you want to be engaging me.” He had to keep reminding himself not to be mad, but it was proving useless as he was anyways. Enough so to go from exhausted to wide awake in moments. Spock stayed where he was until the door closed, and then he was taking a hesitant step towards Leonard.

“Jim asked me to.”

No. _No._ Really not what he wanted to discuss. He didn’t want to discuss how Jim probably did the same thing with Spock, pulling him from the chair and onto the bed. He didn’t want to discuss how Jim probably was moaning at each touch and begging for Spock’s lips to close around his length and…

Ugh. Leonard blinked the thought away, hating the twist of heat in his stomach from the thought. Be that from anger or…well, arousal. He stepped towards Spock, mimicking the action of clasping his hands tightly together behind his back. He respected Spock, he was on the Bridge during the volcano incident and he was just as determined to getting the First Officer back on the Bridge.

Leonard cared. He respected the Vulcan.

He didn’t respect the Vulcan tearing away what he was making a life out of.

“You left him alone in his quarters, despite me being _very clear_ on you not doing that.” Leonard picked up a stride, approaching with the idea of passing Spock to get out the doors. The Vulcan moved to stand in his way.

“Jim is asleep, deeply enough to assume he will not wake for the next four hours.”

“I don’t care what you assume, Spock. Someone needs to be in that room.” Leonard snapped back, stepping to the side in trying to pass. Spock only mimicked the action.

“Please, allow me to explain."

“No! Stop with all your Goddamn explaining! I don’t care what you did with Jim!” Yes, he did actually. “Get out of my way Spock, someone needs to keep an eye on Jim.” Spock only shook his head slightly at the request, still not moving.

“Intimacy is providing more comfort for Jim than I expected prior to engaging him. I believe that-“

“If you say one more word to me, Spock. _One more thing_ about what you did with my Captain, I’m going to lose what little self control I have left.” Leonard warned, turning his gaze from the door to look at Spock. “So do what’s best for us both and step aside.”

Spock wasn’t a hand’s on kind of Vulcan (overlooking what Leonard saw earlier) and it would have been reasonable to assume that, if anyone was going to make a move, it would have been Leonard. He did _not_ expect Spock to reach forward, grabbing his shoulders and spinning them to slam Leonard’s back to the wall in a matter of two seconds. The CMO let out a sharp breath, turning and shaking free of Spock’s hands, but they returned in only a moment.

“You must let me explain.” He spoke lowly, a look in his eyes having Leonard glancing away.

“You crazy bastard.” He snapped out, raising his hands to shove Spock. That moved the Vulcan off rather easily. Hell, the only other time he saw Spock blow up like this was when Jim was going on over the loss of his mother. Leonard hadn’t said that, or anything really about it. He was talking about Jim…right? So was Spock really that emotionally invested?

“He needs _us,_ Leonard.” First name caught his attention and all he could think of was when Jim used his first name. And how quick events had changed from there.

“I got that idea, yes. Doesn’t mean I’m willing to put up with your shit.” He replied, holding a gaze with the all-too-close Vulcan.

“We need to get along for Jim.” Spock reasoned, his hands moving to Leonard’s wrists, holding them to the wall. The Doctor tried to pull his hands away, it wasn’t an uncomfortable hold, just one he wasn’t used to having.

“Let go of me. I get along with you just fine. You’re the one pushing things.”

“No,” Spock moved Leonard’s hands, pinning them above his head. “ _We_ need to get along.”

What the…? How did this…change so quickly? His only excuse would be to believe sex fixed things. That, or Spock was about to rip out his heart. In other words, Leonard had no idea why else Spock would pin his hands above his head and lean even closer.

“What are you-“

“Shh.” Spock was the one to cut him off for once, catching him _way_ off guard with a kiss. With free hands, that would have been met with a punch to the Vulcan’s face. Leonard couldn’t pull away, he was pinned to the wall by a much stronger being and his lips were being dominated.

And he liked it.

“We…need to go to Jim’s room.” Leonard mumbled out over Spock’s lips when the Vulcan finally pulled back so they could breathe. Leonard was trying to get out of the situation, trying to avoid having something happen that he would majorly regret.

And it was happening anyways.

“He will be fine; I can feel that he is still asleep.”

Could he? That could have very well just been a bluff on the Vulcan’s part. But…he didn’t lie. Spock didn’t lie. Leonard exhaled slowly, finding the hold on his wrists loosening at another kiss coming to his lips.

Dammit. Two could play at that game. His hands caught Spock’s on their way down to return to each being’s sides. He deliberately ran their fingertips together, amazed when that brought a soft breath from Spock’s lips.

“Get on your knees.” Leonard whispered, eyes opening to meet Spock’s almost shocked gaze.

“I don’t thi-“

“Get on your knees.” Patience would be key in _any_ situation with a Vulcan. And maybe this was selfish of Leonard to want to feel what Jim did. To want to feel those perfect damn lips wrapping around him. “Go on.” He added, smiling a bit afterwards.

That appeared to be motivation enough to lower the Vulcan, both of his hands still raised (as if in surrendering) and with Leonard continuing to brush their fingertips together. Finally, almost reluctantly, Leonard pulled his hands away to clench in fists at his sides.

“Go on, you obviously know what to do.” He remarked lowly, possibly moaning out the end.

Spock was analyzing as always, he would know what touches to give and what to do to provide what Leonard wanted. It wasn’t long before his rapidly hardening erection was pulled view and held in Spock’s grasp.

Thinking it over, he couldn’t recall the last time he had so many sexual activities happen this close together. Probably never.

His train of thought crashed when warmth completely overwhelmed his entire length, and Leonard looked down in awe at Spock taking him completely into mouth. Spock was vulnerable at this point, and Leonard took advantage of that. A hand securing on the back of the other’s head, Leonard moved his hips forward, fucking Spock’s mouth- for lack of a better way to put that.

And _holy fuck that was nice._ Spock looking up at him, almost amused at Leonard’s behaviour. Hell, _Leonard_ was surprised at his own behaviour. As if being brutal to the Vulcan trying to make them get along would solve any of this. In fact, it was a grounding enough thought to make Leonard sigh, attempting to pull himself out of Spock’s mouth. This wouldn’t solve anything.

Spock’s hands, which were stabilizing him by resting on the back of Leonard’s thighs, moved up to grip his ass. The Doctor grunted slightly, unable to actually pull away and was instead watching one of Spock’s hands come forward to grasp his moist cock, holding it so he could pull out and flick his tongue over the head. He inhaled sharply, but the momentary shock drowned in a mess of moans. And the thought that Jim’s dick had been in the exact same place not that long ago was shockingly arousing, and became something he kept in mind while tilting his head back for another low moan.

Finding something to do with his own hands, they began to card through Spock’s hair, making a mess of it almost instantly. He was looking back down, gasping and moaning at each pull and expertly designed gentle twist of his erection in the process. And when Leonard was getting close, his stomach clenching and hips rolling forward in a gentle motion for more friction and speed, Spock must have noticed it as well because he bumped up in speed. His mouth was more over the head of Leonard’s length, tongue swirling while his hand pumped over the exposed and moist length. And all at once, Spock took all of Leonard back into his mouth, cheeks hollowing in the process and a moan vibrating up his throat and teasing over the head of the other’s length.

“F-Fuck.” Leonard rasped out between moans, his stomach clenching violently as he came into Spock’s mouth.

One blinding moment of bliss.

And then he was back to being a ship doctor. Spock was already pulling off, standing up while pulling Leonard’s slowly fading erection away. Each move was suddenly far too gentle. Too…loving. Dare Leonard say he felt almost clingy after that? Leaning forward, Spock pressed another kiss to Leonard’s lips, and the Doctor was struggling to find the hate he had before.

And now he was really torn on what to do. This was turning into a sickening triangle, to say the least.

“Also,” Spock whispered, his eyes opening lazily to meet Leonard’s, an almost menacing smile coming over what was _always_ a straight face of a Vulcan. That set Leonard on edge instantly. “Perhaps you overlooked our guest.” Spock pulled back from the intimate position so fast that Leonard took a step forward before following Spock’s line of sight.

Fuck.

Well, that would be Jim standing there. Arms crossed, a smug ass smile on his face. 


	5. Conciliating a Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to become clear to everyone, but not in any way they had imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I would like to warn you that there will be smut this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> [I apologize that it took so long!]

Out of everything Leonard could recall, he wasn’t sure how anything would or could possibly help Jim Kirk. A man who was once dead could hardly face life. Leonard found it reasonable to assume everything had come out of the experience of dying, anyways. Thinking on it, Jim couldn’t have been more alone in the moment of his passing. Not even with his Science officer on the other side of the glass. He was still the one on the inside. Did Jim feel that way now? Through it all, was he still the one trapped in the Engine’s compartment while his two Officers looked on?

There was one other time Leonard had been caught doing anything remotely sexual. And it was explaining the kiss with his (ex)wife to his child. It wasn’t explaining a recent blowjob given by a Science officer before the _Captain of the USS Enterprise._

Needless to say, Leonard was a little at loss with words. If someone had told him that this would happen in the near future, he would have laughed in their face after enduring a moment of sheer anxiety and embarrassment. But the situation was different. On the plus side, he almost felt like he gave Jim what he wanted. In that moment, neither Spock nor Leonard were fighting behind the Captain’s back. On the down side, neither looked like they really wanted this specifically to happen.

_They both wanted Jim, not each other._

So there Leonard stood, Spock still very close to him and Jim not far away. The Captain was actually still close to his door, standing with a look of amusement. Leonard was waiting for him to speak, for anyone to speak. He sure as Hell wasn’t going to. He would have bolted for the door had there not been two people within range of grabbing him.

So this was it. This was the encounter. The moment where no one could go without saying something.

Which meant someone had to say anything.

And that someone was going to have to be Leonard.

“Whatever you wanted out of this, you obviously got it.”

He felt betrayed. As if lied to over and over again. Yet each attack Jim had was near textbook spot on, none of it could have been faked. So this hadn’t been a game or a ploy.

“I don’t think he got anything out of this, Doctor McCoy.” There is was again, the professional hiss of Spock’s ever present informative voice. Jim still wasn’t speaking, just looking on as if the two Officers could resolve this like adults. Well, maybe they could.

“What do _you_ mean? He couldn’t pick either one of us.” Leonard explained with a hint of…anger? Distrust? Almost humour?

“He, I believe, never had to. We were always both here.”

Leonard’s stomach sunk. Spock was right. Neither of them would have forced Jim to choose. They literally couldn’t. Their occupations kept them here physically and their Captain always kept them here mentally. Leonard was left with lightening the thick situation.

“Well I’m not sleeping with this bastard.” He threw in with a vague gesture towards Spock.

Jim moved then, coming towards them. Leonard tensed as if the other was countering their points. As if Jim was about to choose. He was religious in that moment, praying this could work out for them. Leonard McCoy wasn’t the better choice, but he could offer the humanity Spock could never venture to. He could read a story and immerse himself into fiction with Jim at his side and he’d pick that over blatant sex any day. He could cry over something as horrifying as loosing Jim again and he could laugh at seeing Jim trip on his way down to Medical Bay. He could _believe_ the other knew who the better choice had to be.

An arm going around Leonard, the CMO was pulled into a collision of bodies with Jim hugging them both.

His eyes closed in defeat, an arm going around them both as there was no other reaction he could muster. It took a moment before he felt the lengthy arm of Spock coming around him as well. Hugs couldn’t fix shit, Leonard felt.

But he felt a confused comfort in receiving a hug from them both. Like three children hugging out their issues, he could apply that scenario to them without issue. He just couldn’t understand why nothing had really been resolved. Leonard was simple, he was the opposite of whatever this was turning into and he was positive that Spock was the same.

_Could Vulcans even bond between two people?_

The situation seeming unlikely, it was more shocking that Leonard had even considered the thought. It pulled him from the hug that was dragging on for a moment too long. He straightened his shirt first, looking down over the warm blue glaring back. Two blues and a yellow. The colours had his attention until the silence was swallowing them all and he had to look around in hope someone would move.

Well. There was still a persistent issue.  

“This won’t fix you, Jim.” Leonard started, speaking rather softly in a form of defeat. A sign he was moving on from the issue. “I mean us, Spock and I. Even if this…goes _wherever_ your mind sends it, it can’t cure you.” For once, Spock didn’t instantly shoot him down with some logic. Leonard supposed that the other agreed.

“Who said I was looking for a cure?” Jim countered with a sort of lighthearted tone that sickened the Doctor.

“I’m saying you need one. Even if Spock’s little bond to you somehow-“

_“What?”_ Jim was no longer amused. In fact, that switched everything around rather fast. Leonard looked over at the Vulcan with a form of shock.

“You _never_ thought to mention that while you were sucking the _Captain_ off?” His short temper flared again. Spock took on a wave (much like a blanket) that took any reaction from his face.

“I don’t think now would be a good time to inform the Captain that-“

Leonard cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“No. I’m not staying for this. And I’m not going to be the one who leaves my own room to leave you two here.” Which was his…short way of pointing them to the exit. Jim looked over his shoulder before at Spock, nodding his head slowly.

“I…could use something to eat.” Jim offered in way of leaving.

“If you are hungry, I’m sure Doctor McCoy’s replicator here will suff-“

“My room. Now.” Jim changed his tone, speaking as a Captain and completely sending Leonard’s mind from the situation in a moment’s notice.

He remembered how Jim spoke to Khan. He remembered hearing that tone that initiated the Captain’s own power into any conversation. He remembered how it took Jim and turned him into _Captain Kirk._ The thought brought a hopeful smile to his face. Maybe this had helped Jim. Maybe the Captain, God forbid, just needed some drama to come back down to Earth (or their ship, rather). Which was still a low blow considering it altered all of their relationships with each other and would leave the operation of the three in complication until something could be resolved.

Putting it mildly, it was going to get awkward.

Leonard blinked himself back into his room, seeing that the Officer and Captain had actually left without catching his attention on the way out. Like that, all air escaped his lungs and he collapsed to the hard floor. Feeling rather saturnine from the overall events of the day, it took awhile to collect himself to move to his shower.

He needed the feeling gone. The touch of Jim and of Spock and his own reaction to it all. It was all so complicated, so utterly confusing and beyond him. Leonard stripped of clothing before moving under the stream.

Going back to the Medical Bay was as if returning to a safe haven. Stepping into the scent of cleanliness and control, he forgot the issues behind him. Taking up his PADD, it didn’t take long to look around at who now occupied the biobeds. Most were down with a sort of sickness that didn’t take long to pinpoint before he could help them. And that was about it before he moved to his office. He didn’t realize that a sort of gloom had taken over him until Nurse Chapel popped in to ask about it.

“Hmm? Fine.” Leonard replied shortly, looking at her until she nodded her head and stepped out from the room. Yes…he was fine in there. But his shift was only so long before sleep sounded appealing. Leonard moved out from his haven with a slow walk towards the lift.

He didn’t know he was taking a detour until he was on that floor and walking towards the Captain’s quarters. Not bothering to announce he was on the other side of the doors, they opened and he stepped in. As expected, he found the room dimmed with a figure in bed. Well…two. Looked like there were two in bed. Leonard’s gaze fell before he turned back towards the door. But he didn’t walk through it to return to his own quarters. He was stuck in the room that almost felt right to be in. Raising a hand, he activated what was necessary to lock the doors before moving towards the bed. Stepping from his shoes, Leonard lied down in the empty space on the other side of Jim, taking care to ease under the blankets. Jim was asleep; he knew that by the changed rhythm of his breathing pattern. But he couldn’t tell if Spock was out as well.

Lying on his back, his hands laced together over his chest and he looked towards the ceiling until a soft voice caught his attention. Looking Jim’s way, he realized it wasn’t the Captain muttering.

“…You came.”

Leonard considered a reply for the comment before realizing he didn’t really have one. So he said nothing.

“Thank you.”

The added words stumped him and he tried to imagine what Spock would be thanking him for. The Science officer was obviously making no move to leave. Leonard wasn’t sure until Jim adjusted slightly and curled into him. And he knew then.

Spock was thanking him for coming. For being there despite everything. But Leonard found it unnecessary. He’d be there until his last breath. Whether it was for Jim or Spock. And the thought stumped him.

So he thanked Spock back in an equally soft tone.

Listening to the adjustment of the Science officer, Spock was moving closer. It wasn’t long before he felt the foreign hand of the other touching the back of his own; the hand belonging to the arm coming over Jim’s waist. Leonard exhaled, parting his fingers to take the other ones between them. No…it didn’t feel so bad at all.

Leonard woke to an ache in his back. And if someone were to tell him that was because he was getting older, he would have punched them. No, this ache was from his contorted position that involved holding two men. He groaned slightly, rolling away when he remembered all that had changed in the past few weeks. Sitting up, his head hung into his hands, his palms being what rubbed his eyes. He didn’t stop until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Letting the hands fall into his lap, he looked over at the groggy eyed Captain.

Leonard wanted to shoot out a sly remark on cue, but he knew better. The best he could do was manage a small smile before he turned towards Jim and leaned down to catch a kiss. There. Simple.

As simple as it could be.

He figured that he might as well play along with the situation and move to kiss Spock’s forehead next. The Vulcan appeared confused for a moment before blinking his eyes open and looking up to the face of a smirking Doctor. All in all, Leonard almost felt he had just gotten a victory until Spock suddenly kissed him back. The Doctor let out a noise of displeasure that got a chuckle from the person lying under his leaning figure. He sat up, looking down at Jim. Leonard apparently had a look worthy of Jim’s sudden burst of laughter, one that led to Spock’s smile. Shit. They got a Vulcan smiling. Leonard rolled his eyes, looking away from the amused beings.

He felt the situation had gone on long enough and moved to get out of bed when Jim suddenly grabbed his shirt and yanked him down. Falling back to where he slept beside the Captain, he faced Jim and was granted with a kiss. Leonard returned that one much more eagerly. He fell consumed in the way Jim’s lips curved into his. He fell in love with the way that Jim tasted when mixed to him.

It took a moment to process that Jim had never really made as much noise as he was making against Leonard’s lips. Not since the first time they went at each other. His eyes opened and he pulled back to try and look back at Spock. But the motion was cut off by Jim’s hand on his cheek, guiding him back to the other’s lips. His own body being rather flat against Jim’s front, he realized what exactly Spock was doing behind Jim and _to Jim._

Leonard pulled back again, trying to make eye contact with Jim. The Captain finally complied and looked Leonard in the eyes. He supposed he was looking for Jim to announce what was going on. But that wasn’t happening. Under the blankets, he could feel a rather cold leg of the Captain tangling with his while the other leg adjusted slightly. Leonard winced, trying not to think of all the prostate exams he had given in his lifetime. _This_ wasn’t a medical set up. It didn’t take long to adjust to the rhythm of Jim’s noises to assume that Spock was trying to prepare the other for something more than…poking around.

Leonard swallowed hard. This was what Jim wanted. It was so obvious and he didn’t waste a moment to jump into balancing the act out. Returning to the kisses, he held the intention of completely devouring Jim’s mouth. One lingering hand moved to the other’s underpants, rubbing at the material until he knew Spock had switched out fingers for his own length.

That moment of the switch was probably the most shocking of the overall experience. Jim gasped, head more or less bumping into Leonard’s in the moment as he grabbed at the Doctor’s shirt. Leonard paused his own motions, staring between the two beings looking dumbstruck. He didn’t move until Jim’s small call of his name animated him.

His hand moved again, slipping under the material to grab the length he held not long ago. Yes, this indeed broke any record Leonard ever held for sexual encounters in a reasonable time period. He was actually positive that his own body was still in shock as he hadn’t even considered grabbing or getting himself involved other than aiding Jim’s own experience.

The motion went on until Spock’s movements were constant and Leonard could see him kissing at the back of Jim’s neck. Jim himself wasn’t having any sort of volume control. Luckily that wasn’t a concern as noise wouldn’t be leaving this room. But it was still shocking to Leonard that a human could even be so _noisy._ Then again, it _was Jim._

In that time of thought, Leonard hadn’t realized how close Jim had come before he was suddenly crying out an orgasm into Leonard’s ear. The Doctor murmured a curse, his hand trying to stay to the rhythm as he looked at Spock. The Vulcan was looking directly at him, though his face held a sort of emotion that shocked Leonard. The Doctor smirked, glancing down at Jim and leaning down to kiss at him through each wave that seemed to hit.

It took a moment before he noted that Spock had been enduring the same thing. But that didn’t really matter to Leonard. It didn’t seem that horrible considering Spock hardly broke that cold barrier he usually held.

Like that…it seemed already over. They all were lying there, seemingly breathless (though not as much as the gasping Jim). And Leonard was thinking about trying to find that cure again. Something alternate to medication and he still couldn’t see this being long term. How could that even work? He didn’t dare turn away and let Spock into him next. Nor did he have the intention of doing such a thing to Spock.

But he did respect the Vulcan, perhaps even like him after all this. Letting out a small noise when Jim sat up with newfound energy, Leonard watched the Captain shifting under the blankets as if getting his underpants back on before he moved out from the bed.

“Come on, let’s shower.” Jim stated, looking back at them both.

Leonard sat up again, making a face. He didn’t have the intention of crawling into a shower with them both, and he wasn’t really in need of a shower.

“You two go ahead,” Leonard announced, moving to stand up. He went to say something else, but was at a lack of words. He didn’t want to go, but he didn’t want to stay out here as if some left out child to a party. Jim seemed in agreement, his look told Leonard that he wasn’t getting out of there.

_“Fine.”_ Leonard caved in, grumbling it out and not bothering to really move as Jim came towards him to pull at his shirt until both layers came off. He looked over at Spock undressing himself; smirking at the thought that Jim came to undress _him._ Not Spock. A selfish thought that Leonard told himself he would have to get over.

They all filed into the bathroom, stepping under the water and smothering close in a mass of bodies and soap. Leonard was shocked at how little water he actually got on himself in the shifting process between them all. But he did get a chance to lather Jim over once more and that was something to count on.

Getting out of the shower, he was the first to be dressed again with Spock dressed right afterwards. Leonard was finally managing to say his good-bye to get out of the room. Despite their usual lack of care on what the crew thought, he still didn’t need them all filing out of Jim’s room like this again. So he’d be the first to go.

“I’ll come up to the Bridge in awhile.” Leonard offered, turning to the door. He moved to step through it when two exact events caught his attention and pulled him back into the room in a full sprint towards Jim.

_“McCoy!”_ Spock’s sudden voice hit his ears with a horrified tone of a human- _not_ a Vulcan.

The sound of a body hitting the ground next was what moved the Doctor.

 


	6. The End's Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when things seemed to resolve...they are faced with a reoccurring danger. An unstoppable force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! Enjoy!

The last time he saw Jim in such a state, he was looking down over a dead man. Only, at that time, the man had actually been dead. No…this was a man marked for death. He knew it when he collapsed to his knees at Jim’s side. The Captain was in his black pants, his shirt still in hand as he lied there. Staring. God. He stared towards the ceiling with eyes seemingly draining of life and Leonard had _no idea_ what to do. He had no kit with him. No chance to help.

Taking Jim’s pulse, it was spotty. But still there. And he was still breathing, although it seemed like a wheezing breath. _How? Why?_ Leonard glanced at Spock in almost accusation.

_“I turned my back for. One. Minute.”_ Leonard snapped out, needing anyone to accuse other than himself in that moment. It was unjust, but he needed to know if Spock had seen or done anything. But the Vulcan stared at him with just the same amount of accusation. Leonard should have just waited until they could have all left. He should’ve made sure Jim was okay.

Thing was, this wasn’t something anyone _expected._ This wasn’t a triggered attack or any anxiety attack that Leonard knew anything on. Jim was just… _shut down._

“You need to take the helm.” Leonard spoke up, looking at Spock. “I need him in Med bay, I can’t do anything for him here anyways.” He dug into his pocket, looking for his com to call up help from the Med bay. Was this comatose? Was this the end of their Captain? The last time anything brought Jim to this level, it was an Augment.

Leonard shook his head, adjusting to get a better grip on Jim. Spock wasn’t speaking. He looked over the Vulcan critically.

_“Get to the Bridge, Spock.”_ Leonard repeated himself, sitting up when Spock seemed to only keep staring at Jim.

“I…can’t tell what’s happened.” Spock spoke up slowly. Leonard exhaled in a noise of annoyance.

“You’re in the same boat as me, Sherlock. Which is why I need to get him to Medical.” He proceeded to call for assistance into his communicator before putting it away and looking back at Spock.

“Our connection…there is nothing. As if an interference.” Spock looked at Leonard then. The Doctor raised his hands in a sort of surrender.

“Don’t look at me, this wasn’t my idea.”

“No. You being a part of this does not damage a bond. And if he was dying, I would know.” Spock paused, looking to go a shade of death. “It’s as if someone cut into the bond. Something that already had a bond with him.” The Vulcan was still looking at Leonard, but they both knew the Doctor wasn’t capable of doing that and seeming just as panicked. He wasn’t _that_ good at acting and manipulation.

Leonard’s silent attention was broken when nurses rushed in with a mobile bed to get the Captain onto.

“The Bridge, Spock.” Leonard reminded, finally getting Spock to stand up with them. The Vulcan looked over everyone in the room before his eyes set on the limp Jim Kirk. He stood a bit taller, glancing at Leonard before leaving without a further word between them.

The Doctor audibly let out a breath of relief when Spock was out of his hair. He followed the mobile bed and nurses to the lift to take Jim back down to Med bay.

And through it all, he couldn’t piece anything together.

Jim was _fine_ not an hour ago. In fact, everything was fine an hour ago. Goes to show how fast things on this ship flipped on a dime. Entering the bay, Jim was moved to a stable biobed before the nurses stepped out of Leonard’s way.

He had all the technology he could possibly need here. Scanning anything and everything, there was hardly anything that could be overlooked. And yet, they came up blank. Jim’s case was hopeless. They couldn’t use anything in the Med bay to pinpoint the sudden coma and Spock’s bond was coming up pointless.

What was it with that bond anyways? Spock clearly stated that he would know if Jim was dying, which gave Leonard reason to believe the other would remain alive. But he did mention an interference which could mean he doesn’t feel _anything_ from Jim. The whole bond deal wasn’t Leonard’s strong point. He didn’t know what to expect of it so he didn’t bother thinking on it.

What he had to work with was a quiet Captain and a panicked Vulcan. One again at his desk, Leonard’s face was buried in his hands and trying to erase the images flipping past in his mind. Jim’s easy smile when they were waking up; his face as an orgasm rolled through him and he lost any sort of sanity for just a moment; his calm collection and gentle touch over Leonard.

_Just an hour ago…_

Still in shock, the CMO jumped when Nurse Chapel touched his shoulder and her words finally reached his ears.

“We’ve stabilized him as much as we can, Doctor McCoy. But…is there anything we can do?” She asked with a tone crushing him to his core. The Doctor looked away, towards the open doorway and right to the bed perfectly angled. Yes…Jim was stable now. He could see that through the beeping machines and mass of wires and tubes. It was all so rudimentary for the time they were in now. But there was nothing else they could do without some prior understanding to what had happened.

“Not that I know of.” Leonard’s gruff voice returned an answer for her to think on. She seemed like she was thinking, too.

“This would be a lot easier if we knew what caused this.” She informed him of what he already knew. Leonard nodded his head, his gaze unwavering from that body not far off. At least Jim was here and alive. That had to be enough. It had to be.

“It would be.” He finally agreed in a lackadaisical tone.

Nurse Chapel left the room without much else commentary to offer. Leonard fell back into his quiet state, leaning back in his chair and looking towards the biobed not far off. If he halted his own breathing, he could hear the soft noises of Jim’s vitals beeping for their overview. All of which would dramatically increase in volume should there be an emergency of a sudden change in any vital.

Until then, there was nothing anyone could do. Spock was in control of the ship, which was how it would play out until Jim came back. _If_ he came back. Though thinking on the chances had Leonard sick to his stomach. Could he really just sit there and _wait_ for something to happen? No, he never had patience like that.

Leaving his office, he crossed over to where the bed lie with the figure on it. The sight was ghastly, but it was not something Leonard hadn’t seen before. He just hadn’t imagined seeing Jim on the receiving end of Medical’s brutality. Leonard stood there for longer than he imagined, as it was again Nurse Chapel at his side inquiring if he would be okay.

No, he wouldn’t. Not if things stayed like this.

“What’s the time?” Leonard questioned, looking at her.

Oh. An hour had passed. He moved at hearing that, trying to ease the stiffness from his legs. Finally deciding on the fact that he couldn’t loom over Jim any longer, he gave into the need for food. Informing Nurse Chapel of that, she insisted that he leave and get something to eat. She’d cover everything there and Leonard had no doubt she would do it well. Nodding his head in thanks, he moved out from the Medical bay.

Food wasn’t what he wanted. It was tasteless to him and he hardly finished a replicated plate of nutrition before he was ready to heave it back up. There had to be an answer. Venturing to the Bridge, he believed he could find it there. But everything at the helm was in as much shambles as his mind was in. He entered to see people moving around and trying to deal with… _something._ Meanwhile, Spock was in the Captain’s chair (which was completely unfitting in Leonard’s mind). The CMO moved through the rushing people, almost getting to Spock before he bumped into Uhura.

“What’s going on here, Uhura?” Leonard picked asking her over someone who still looked shell-shocked in his seat.  She shook her head at the madness and commotion, looking up at Leonard.

“My station is dealing with glitches. And I’m not the only station. It’s like the whole Bridge has some bug, everyone’s trying to keep down the technical malfunctions before they get out of hand.” She informed with a rushed tone and no hint of enthusiasm.

“And Spock?”

That had he looking over at him with almost a face of displeasure.

“Hasn’t said a thing since he sat down in that chair.”

Leonard’s lips pressed together and he moved past her to approach the chair. Though, from the look of it, he didn’t think he was going to get anything out of the Vulcan. Spock didn’t even look to be present in his own mind, let alone in the room. Leonard clicked his tongue, looking around at everyone. He imagined Sulu would take over next if Spock appeared too unfit for duty. But, looking at Sulu, Leonard imagined no one had time to sit in the chair and shout orders. Everyone obviously was already doing what they should have been doing.

And all of this looked like it wouldn’t be happening if Kirk was up there.

“Chekov, report.” Leonard spoke up towards the boy who appeared to still focused on their course. He looked over at the CMO before beckoning Leonard closer. The Doctor complied, approaching Chekov’s station and leaning over to look at something he didn’t entirely understand.

“I cannot find the source…of _anything_ doing this.” Chekov started, speaking rather slow in comparison to everyone else. “There is nothing in range of us. Not even a _planet._ ” He looked up at Leonard as if the CMO could offer explanation. If it wasn’t an outside source (which he was okay with), it meant it was in the ship. Right?

“Have you already searched our ship for foreign material?” Leonard spoke up, knowing that everything (people included) were specifically registered with this ship and anyone different would be caught.

“Of course.” Chekov paused. “And there is something else.” He pointed back to the chair where Leonard registered Scotty over the chair’s communicator in an endless explanation. “Scotty was talking Mr. Spock.” He paused, swallowing. “That’s when _it_ happened.” Leonard looked back at Chekov, thinking he misheard something through that thick accent.

“When _what_ happened, Chekov?” Leonard responded, staring at the kid and only receiving a shrug. He turned to the chair, approaching and trying to understand Scotty’s rambles. “Hey. _Hey._ Slow down.” Leonard spoke up, shockingly silencing Scotty instantly. He thought to ask something before he realized the Spock would have to finally take rank on his list of priorities. He hands went to the Vulcan’s shoulders, giving a strong shake of the being as he moved to stand in front of Spock. “Snap out of it, man. This crew needs _you._ ” Leonard spoke sharply, actually getting Spock to glance up at him. Still no words. He exhaled, looking towards the communicator. “Scotty, what are you saying? Layman’s terms, please.”

“Ah! Doctor McCoy, about time someone was listening to me!”

“Hurry on with it.” He hated to be brief, but the more time he spent away from Sick bay was only wearing on his patience. He came to the Bridge to offer what advice he could. Not to _run the damn show._

“The Engine’s in trouble, sir. No idea how, either. She’s speaking to me but I’m not understanding any of it.”

Very helpful. He exhaled, taking his hands off Spock. Another person would end up in Med bay now. Leonard looked over at Sulu, who was actually looking back at him.

“Take the chair, Sulu.” Leonard spoke what they already said without words given that Sulu was approaching. He moved to wrap Spock’s arm around his neck before pulling him up from the Captain’s chair. Not entirely limp, Spock was actually almost standing on his own. “Scotty, Sulu is here to talk to you now. I have another person to take to Medical.” With that, he was escorting them both through the crowd and into the lift.

When inside, he found his ears were ringing from the commotion and the silence of the lift lowering them was almost a blessing. Spock was walking on his own and had taken his arm back, but there were still no words.

“Spock.” Leonard spoke up finally, looking over at the other. “You need to tell me what is going on. Anything. It could be a matter of life or death for _our_ Captain.”

That seemed to sober the Vulcan up as he took lead when the lift’s doors opened. Leonard was almost in a light jog to keep up with the Vulcan as he came into Medical.

There Jim was. Still comatose. Regardless, breathing.

Leonard let out a breath when they came to a stop at the end of the bed.

“Well?” He prompted Spock with a glance over at the other.

“I am not fit for commanding this vessel.” Spock announced as if he was still on the Bridge. Leonard turned towards him.

“Good one, Sherlock. I put Sulu in command. What is going on?” He prompted again, eyes narrowing at the sheer loss of patience. Where was the _logic? The emotionless void of Spock?_ Hell, he didn’t even look like a Vulcan in that moment. He looked like a human. A compromised human.

“I…don’t…know.” Spock replied slowly, moving towards the head of the bed. Leonard watched in fascination as the Vulcan shifted through the wires and tubes to get to Jim’s head. He leaned over, hand pressing to the other’s face. Ah.

Leonard didn’t stop Spock, he knew this could be very beneficial for them both. So he waited until Spock could offer some answers.

He wasn’t sure how long it took on an exact count, but it was long enough that he ended up sitting down. Spock took on that glaze of non-existence yet again, and Leonard tried to imagine where his mind was going. Was it on a direct route into Jim’s mind? Or was there some middle ground void that their thoughts could mingle?

Spock snapped out of it with a sharp gasp that had Leonard moving to his feet and towards the two others.

“What is it?” He demanded with no hint of patience left. Spock looked towards Leonard, seeming more coherent than before.

“He’s going to w-“

Spock didn’t finish his explanation when the sudden choking noise of Jim caught Leonard’s attention. He moved forward, removing the securing tape before pulling the tube from the choking man’s throat. Jim gagged in the sudden extraction, eyes wide and looking between the two figures looming over him. The race of the other’s heart could only be matched with Leonard’s own heart-rate and he was almost confused for a moment on who was actually attacked to the machines. But it wasn’t long before everything was being turned off and Jim was being pulled free from anything left on him.

No one had a chance to speak in the commotion of Leonard. This was _his_ place of chaos. Not Jim’s Bridge. And the worst it came to was his command for a nurse to get some water. Jim refused (or seemed unable) to sit up. He was in some sort of a daze that was only matched by Spock’s returning daze.

“Alright, out of my way.” Leonard spoke up, taking hold of Spock’s arm and leading him over to sit down in the nearby chair. He moved close to Jim, leaning over him. “Do you feel like you can sit up, Jim?” Leonard asked softly, taking the cup from the nurse. He was gifted with Jim shaking his head. Well, at least he was awake. Leonard guided the drink to the other’s lips, helping Jim hold his head up to drink some water. “Can you tell us what’s going on?” Leonard picked that as a question over informing Jim as to what shambles his ship was in at the moment. Jim only stared blankly at him, a look that was only matched by Spock.

Which told Leonard that something must have happened. He clicked his tongue, setting aside the water and standing tall over Jim. “I’m going to let you relax a bit, Jim. Try to get some sleep.” He looked over at Spock. “…You relax some as well.” Leonard only looked between the two once more before stepping out from the crevice the two others were stuck in.

This was all getting out of hand. He had to escape the moment to attempt to breathe a different air. To…clear his mind, as it were. It did no good, everything was still an issue and it was growing worse by the moment. The “moment” being Nurse Chapel informing him that they were having power crashes over the ship and the emergency power was all that had been holding the Medical bay out from the chaos for so long. And it looked like that was being attacked as well. He looked around as the lights flickered between bright and emergency red.

That brought him back to Jim’s corner, seeing Spock still wide awake. He looked a bit better, appearing to be watching the asleep Kirk with an interest.

“Can you tell me _anything,_ Spock?” Leonard tried for the tenth time, standing near the Vulcan. Spock looked at him, lips parting before he appeared to give up and look back at Jim. Leonard exhaled sharply, rubbing at his own face before crossing his arms. “Fine. If you’re well enough, I need you back on the Bridge. This situation is getting worse and we need more than Sulu trying to hold it together.” He explained in a way that felt like he was only talking to himself. And, as Spock made no notion to move, Leonard realized that he was talking to himself.

Because he was all that was holding this operation together.

_“No!”_ A sudden cry caught his attention and he looked over to where Jim was violently lurching about on his bed. Leonard moved forward, trying to grab at the man’s limbs to keep him from flying off the bed.

“Jim! _Jim!_ ” Leonard tried to catch the other’s attention. “Come on, _stop moving!_ I’m your damn doctor, remember?” He tried to speak over the yelling coming from Jim, trying to hold him down by his shoulders now. Out of nowhere that Leonard could have foreseen, Jim’s hands came around his neck in a clasping motion. Leonard choked almost instantly, moving his own hands to pry at Jim’s enough so that he could turn his head and yell for the nearest nurse.

Through the red blur, he could see Spock still sitting there, apparently entirely frozen.

The red blur was met with a rush of blue, nurses coming in and restraining the Captain. It was a struggle before Leonard gasped in a thankful breath, staring down at Jim as he stumbled back slightly. The look had changed. There was no more yelling. The Captain was smiling, his gaze apparently far off.  No…it wasn’t Jim at all. Something else entirely. Leonard looked at Spock, who looked as if taking on the exact same emotion at once. Leonard was ushered back as a nurse attempted to get his attention. But something else caught all of their attention.

Everything died, all lights and electronics and the faint whirling of the engine turned into the dim hum of red lights before even that died.

And what he was greeted with was every single screen and nearby PADD turning to a bright white light. That was what they had to work with, though he wasn’t sure why they were doing that. And he was all that was left.

“Nurses, keep these two here.” Leonard commanded before leaving Medical bay and entering the hallway. He didn’t bother walking; he was running along with everyone else, only he was headed towards the lift.

Upon entering, he was thanking the reserves of power that got the lift moving slowly towards the Bridge. Too slow.

A strange noise came over the ship. He could hear it on the passing floor as well as in the lift. Deep.

He felt like he was in the ocean, being sucked into a hurricane of a man’s inhale and flying out to a crumbling fall at the wall of the lift when the exhale brought words.

_“Hello…USS Enterprise.”_

The lift stopped its movements, the doors opening to the sight of everyone frozen on the Bridge. The main screen as well as every other screen at every station was greeted with the face. _His face._

Leonard stumbled to his feet, stepping out from the lift and towards that ever present smirk. The same smirk he saw on Jim’s face and the same one on Spock’s face. But not his. No. He was left with parted lips, a notion that wasn’t followed by any inhale or exhale.

The look shifted, as if that single face knew where Leonard McCoy was located in the room of people aboard the Enterprise. Perhaps he did. Perhaps he knew where everyone was. Even Jim, even Spock.

There was no one to take command, no one to reply. Sulu wouldn’t dare speak towards that man again and Leonard knew he wouldn’t dare without his Captain’s consent. The Captain that wasn’t present. In that moment, he was sure that he and the other being _knew_ that he was the only one left. A game well played.

_“I will not attack.”_ He spoke again, still staring directly into Leonard’s entire core- almost answering the silent question Leonard was about to ask himself. _“As you are well aware, you wouldn’t stand a chance given you had no idea I had been on your trail for several weeks now. You. Are. Helpless.”_ There was another pause, and not a single voice filled that silence. No one dared move, as it would be all it took to make a madman change his mind. _“So. We will play this my way. Surrender your Captain.”_

There was a pause then that had everyone looking at Leonard.

Because he was the one who was going to have to make the call.

_“Surrender him or I will destroy everything, Leonard McCoy.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes....I left it WIDE OPEN. 
> 
> Because this is a prequel to the next one I will be working on! :D


End file.
